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Good essay @Lu_Corde , your structure (and grammar!!) is solid and you have used the new vocab nicely. I’ve made some changes as you can see and the blue words are suggestions to sound more natural.
Also I think this lesson can help you refresh the use of articles, as I’ve noticed some errors there
https://www.bbc.co.uk/learningenglish/course/lower-intermediate/unit-8/tab/grammar
